Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Keeping busy?

As a strategy to stop me reaching for a glass of wine, I've been keeping really busy.  The freezer now has no more room for home cooked meals.  What I'm finding out about myself is that I don't know how to relax.  If I keep busy then I can't unwind and then I want a drink.
I know a lot of you do yoga and I'm sure that may help, but I feel so time poor at the moment that the thought of finding a class and the time to go there is stressing me!
I read,  I d o HIIT exercises but need to rediscover  and find new interests. Easier said than done.

Sunday, 11 September 2016

Looking forward to 100 days

Reading a lot of blogs from people who have passed 100 days, it appears this is a time when attitudes seem to make a significant shift.   Apparently one hundred days from today is Tuesday 20th December, so my 100 days will be a few days before that.
I love Christmas, but don't start preparing very early.  I like rushingaround the week before,and the joy of being at home with the family.
There is always the stress of parties.  Will I drink too much, do anything regretable?
So this year I am preparing early.  Looking forward to having a clear head, lots of energy not thinking about controlling my drinking. I can visualise this well and am using this as a strong incentive to get to one hundred days and beyond.  Then it will be dry January.  I'll have the tools to give that a go too!.
If anyone is still trying to make day one stick, think how great it would be get one hundred days in now.

Friday, 9 September 2016

Struggle

Just done very busy work twelve hour day.
Struggle, but happy to go to bed in the understanding that tomorrow will be a great day.
MNW xx

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

New beginnings.

Back at work after the summer break.  It's always full on and very busy.  On Monday night I slept very badly.  I found it hard to wind down after a long day and was awake for hours in the night.
Tuesday was just as busy. Unfortunately I had to finally say yes to meeting a friend for her birthday. Not her actual birthday, that was a while back.  She doesn't drink much and treats having a glass of wine with the excitement I probably did as a teenager.
So there it is.  I didn't have the courage to say I wasn't drinking alcohol
as she would be shocked that this problem existed.   Only homeless people on park benches suffer this fate!   She would have felt very sorry for me and tell a lot of people I am not ready to tell what a bad way I must be in and how everyone should look after me.  Her constant hushed tone concerns would not be helpful.
Why didn't I just say I wanted a non-alcohlic drink?  I didn't want to disappoint her and, yes, I wanted one.
So I  suppose I'm beginning again, but am optimistic although feel like a failure for caving at an early hurdle.  This has redoubled my resolve, and put me on my guard!
On another matter, I have no idea why when I post comments they often appear twice. I promise I am not drunkenly hitting the send button!

Sunday, 4 September 2016

Mornings

It seems obvious, but what I am really enjoying is the early morning.  The sun has been shining(apart from today) even if it has clouded over later.  The peace and stillness are great and the expectation of a good day ahead.  You also get a lot done!

Yesterday evening, however was tough.  Sometimes you don't want to go to bed early to avoid yourself!
More positive today.

Thursday, 1 September 2016

Have been visiting friends for a couple of days.  It's amazing that if you say you don't really want to drink nobody really questions it.
Great couple of days. Now back home, God I want a drink.
PS I have an English degree but no IT skills.  After four hours of effort over the past week I am still having to write this without being able to see what I am typing.  Eventually it might be a bit more eloquent.

Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Day 3

So spent day 2 feeling very positive.  Not at work this week so spent time ferrying kids around.  Became domestic goddess making vats of soup from home grown vegetables and can hardly fit them in the freezer.  Had a wobble in evening when Mr mnwpoured himself a glass of wine with his dinner -he can moderate. Resisted temptation and felt good going to bed early.
A beautiful sunny morning and up early today.  Achieved so much  so early!  This is great! This is easy!  Although having a big wobble this evening.  OKcan get through this evening, but what about tomorrow?  Really will have to take this one day at a time.

Sunday, 28 August 2016

Day 1

So this time I am going to do this properly. Have finally realised the advice you all give.  You can't do this on your own.  My story is your story but I don't feel ready to share it yet.  For today I am happy to do this but scared to fail.   Excited to join a gang of strong people who I have been following for a while.  You have all been inspiring. I don't know how I can help you,but you've already helped me make this decision. Thanks